I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
Randomize
