there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
Randomize
