The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
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