Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Why?
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
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