My nipple is on Facebook.
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
I met my future husband in an elevator. Think Hispanic version of Dr. Bunsen Honeydew from the Muppets, but with eyes like Michael Fassbender.
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Randomize
