so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
Randomize