By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
Randomize
