sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
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