you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
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