I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
it was like having sex with a tree stump
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
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