You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
Randomize
