ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
Randomize
