is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
Randomize
