his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
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