I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
That was before I lit my hair on fire
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
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