So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
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