Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
I got her a Nickelback box set.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
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