you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
I got a black eye last night. This guy said for every 35 pounds you lose you gain an inch to your dick. I asked him how long he has been peeing sitting down.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
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