guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
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