Imagine two people making love on top of a unicorn . . . my life is the opposite of that.
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
Randomize
