dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Randomize
