one word: firstdatebathroomanal
Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
25 People Confess The Biggest Betrayal They Have Ever Faced
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
25 Odd Things These Pathetic People Do For Enjoyment
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was