I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell