ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
Randomize