We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
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