He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
I just gargled with NyQuil
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
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