I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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