My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
Randomize
