It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
Randomize
