I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
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