DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
Randomize
