Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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