people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
so my daughter wakes me up this morning and i feel like a vibration so im thinking she has my phone..nope my vibrator
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize
