I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
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