he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
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