You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
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