People with herpes should wear stickers.
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
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