i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
