All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
Randomize
