i'm lost and i look like a hooker
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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