dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
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