I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
Randomize
