It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
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