A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
No...this little piggys going to the bar
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
Randomize
