the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
Randomize
