Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
Randomize
