i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
Randomize
