but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
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U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
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