Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
Randomize
