She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
So I was throwing up in this fancy toilet at a party last night, when he decided it would be funny to flush it. It was a beday. I had to walk out with toilet water and regurgitated rumpleminze all over my face and shirt.
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
Randomize
