just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
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