So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
Randomize
