if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
Randomize
