pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
Randomize
