lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
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