My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Randomize
