im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
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