normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
Hippo gnu deer
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
Randomize
