I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
he was CRYING into my vagina
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
I made him laugh his dick is mine
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
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