Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
I just took the kind of shit that makes your eyes well up with tears as you feel it moving inside of you... So cleansing.
As your only female friend, I feel the need to inform you that texts like these are why she dumped you.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
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