those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
I touched a dick in church today
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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