If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
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