the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Randomize
