come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
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