the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
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