Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
